I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
