why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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