Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
