in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
