He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
