I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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