Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
