You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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