My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
