i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
