bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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