Me too!
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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