im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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