Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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