ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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