I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
