oh god the rape fog is back!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
