Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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