Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
