ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
