My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
