Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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