At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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