people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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