I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
