So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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