Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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