Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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