He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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