In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
they need to just BURY HIM!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Randomize
