So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
