There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
