watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
