perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
