I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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