yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
