so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
