you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
