the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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