I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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