how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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