This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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