If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
