The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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