He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
