He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
