Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Someone shit on the floor
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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