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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just found out I have a small penis.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."

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• (903): View more from Texas

  He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  "Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I need to calm my uterus...

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Awe that means so much to us

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.

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