I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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