I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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