I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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